Baby Shaq with one tapeworm in his hand, the other in his stomach.
However, from the very start of the UCLA game I noticed something had gone horribly wrong. Baby Shaq seemed out of breath and lethargic the whole game. It was as if the tapeworms in his belly weren't hungry... worse yet, it seemed as though there weren't any tapeworms in his belly at all. I kept on rubbing my eyes just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Could it be? The biggest game of the entire season, and nary a Tiger with tapeworms to be found on the court??? Sure enough, this picture confirmed my suspicions.
NO TAPEWORMS! :(
Big Baby must have eaten one too many basketballs in the days leading up to the UCLA game. As I'm sure you all know, tapeworms hate the taste of basketballs. His tapeworms must have grown tired of his non-tapeworm friendly diet and jumped ship, leaving him tragically tapeworm-less for the big game. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming Baby Shaq. Coach John Brady should be fired and replaced with someone who has a better knowledge of tapeworms. It's purely up to the coach to teach his team about tapeworm maintenance. It also wouldn't have killed Brady to concentrate more on recruiting some tapeworms. HOW YOU GOAN WIN THE NCAA DIVISION I BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP WITHOUT A BELLY FULL OF HUNGRY TAPEWORMS?!?!?! Don't you know anything about basketball? Back in my day Coach Brown made everyone eat shit so we would get tapeworms. We were the only team in the SEC whose starting 5 all had tapeworms, plus we had a tapeworm or two on scholarship. Of course they banned performance enhancing tapeworms in the NBA, or else I'd still be on that shit.
16 comments:
man shoo, what up wit all dis tapeworm talk?! surf atty is strongly opposed to tapeworms. i mean, they be eatin my food that im supposed to be turnin into fat, yo! dude, i saw that leprechaun thing the other day and thought it was the most awesome thing as well. i also saw on ebay, someone was selling the "artists rendering." dude, you should check out the gmail account to listen to the new VBJ song jj and louis been workin on. its freakin awesome. woadie.
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