Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (but there was no such thing as slavery)

DAMN y'all heard of this state called Virginia? That's the state what England sent all its virgins over to colonize back in the 1600s AD. But they must not've stayed virgins very long, cuz nowadays Virginia has a population of almost 8 million. They also got a naked lady on their flag and a dumbass in their governor's office. Earlier this month, Virginia governor Bob McDonnell declared April Confederate History Month. I think this in and of itself is really fucking stupid cuz, you know, fuck the fucking Confederacy. But what pushed McDonnell's declaration into the realm of the truly gubernotorious is that he initially failed to make any mention of slavery. So, to recap, Old McDonnell decides that if Uncle Sam gives them uppity negrozoids a month, then by golly gosh, the state of Virginia should dedicate a (longer) month to the glorious memory of the treasonous idiot racists of the Confederacy, people who were the enemy in the bloodiest war America has ever experienced.

In what world is this not the worst fucking idea ever??? The initial proclamation hailed the "sacrifices of the Confederate leaders, soldiers, and citizens during the period of the Civil War." McDonnell later elaborated that he excluded slavery because he wanted to focus on the aspects of the Civil War that "were most significant for Virginia." At the time of the Civil War, slaves made up about one third of Virginia's population. Currently, African-Americans, most of whom are descendants of slaves, make up about one fifth of VA's population. So demographically, it would seem that McDonnell is wrong about his assertion that slavery isn't an important or relevant issue for a considerable amount of Virginians. Oh yeah, and then there's the small matter than EVEN A FUCKING COMATOSE BABY PENGUIN IN FUCKING ANTARCTICA WOULD KNOW THAT SLAVERY WAS THE MAIN FUCKING REASON THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR WAS FOUGHT. Who are you trying to kid, McDonnell? I guess I can understand if a lot of Virginians are reluctant to recognize the true nature of the actions of their ancestors due to feelings of shame; however, I refuse to believe that a significant portion of Virginians either simply don't think slavery was the major cause of the Civil War or acknowledge that it was but don't care.

But even putting the issue of slavery aside, celebrating anything about the Confederacy is asinine and a bit evil in my opinion. It's not as if slavery wasn't widespread in the North. Sure, the North happened to end it sooner than the South, but the fact that it was willing to engage in such a deplorable institution means I'm not gonna give it a gold star for morality. But one thing that the North wasn't willing to do, and this is important, is secede from the Union and start a war that led to the death of hundreds of thousands of its fellow countrymen. It's fucked enough that the Confederacy was a fundamentally racist organization, but on top of it the Confederates were unrepentant bloodletting traitors. Since when is treason a virtue? The same people who deride all Muslims and Liberals as disloyal terrorists are perfectly content to glorify their treasonous ancestors. Guh? Just because people are your ancestors doesn't mean you're obliged to honor them. If you're German, you're allowed to be ashamed of Nazis. You're allowed to lament the fact that you came from such fucked up stock. It's perfectly normal and commendable and human. What's not allowable is to go to such lengths to idolize and idealize them that you are willing to revise history and ignore or downplay despicable acts committed by them.
 
Konfederate Kris Kringle sez "The south shall rise again."