Salutations to all, 'tis none other than I, Evan Spencer Jacobs!!! In case you've been wondering why Shaq-Fu hasn't updated his blog in a few days, it's because he's been too busy visiting me in the N-Y-C. While we're both in town together, we thought it would be cute if we guest-posted on each other's blog. So here goes!
Boy I tell you, that Shaquille is one tall Negro. So tall, in fact, that it took no longer than a matter of hours before his height got us into a fight. It seems that the clumsy homosexual has difficulty adjusting to the stronger gravity that is found in New York's many underground sub-ways. The increased gravity, combined with his grotesquely tall frame, made it impossible for him to hurdle over a sweet old lady's feet as he made his way to his seat. He grazed the old lady's shin, ruining her life, making life-long enemies of all the other people on the subway, and severely damaging New York's bid to host the 2012 Olympics.
Having to play tour guide to Shaq has been an unbearable chore. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy's best friend. Being seen in public with him sucks monkey balls. His ethnicity precludes us from dining in any of the finer establishments to which my refined palate is so accustomed. Since he's been in town my diet has consisted of nothing but Cheetos and dick.
Also, staying with him for a few days has exposed me to some of his bizarre and disturbing personal habits. For instance, when smoking weed he has to say grace before every hit. He watches TV with his eyes closed. He bites his toenails. 9/11 may have changed everything, but it couldn't make him change his underwear. Most appaling of all, he pees standing up. What in the name of the Unknown Soldier is that?
Well, I gotta go now. I have a busy day ahead of me. It's been a couple of months since the operation, so the girlfriend and I can finally have relations.
Be sure to check out my blog, Anal Spitoon. Now with more spit!
Also, check out this new blog about my Jewish brethren: www.youhavebeenchosen.com.
Happy 4th of July, everybody!!! Remember, we're better than Hitler!
Update: We're also better than Mao.
2 comments:
but dont you gets mo' attention from the ladies when you with shaq diesel? i mean, you might have to settle for the not-as-hot friend, but what do you care, its free. cause shaq's rich ass can pay for it. even Casie Woods said she wants some of that diesel, after seeing him at a party. makeen better watch out or he's gonna lose the mother of his childrens to some non-freethrow-shootin ponk.
Man the lameness of Spencer's game is illuminated, magnified, and italicized when exhibited alongside mine. Plus, just like America, I dont share.
Casie said that? Yo give her my dijjits. Just dont tell Hakeem about it. He might start crying. And please dont tell Gay An about it, he's got enough problems as is.
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