Obamascare

Aww damn y'all heard how the gubmint tried to make a website but then it turnt out that the website they made wasn't really even that good of a website?  I hope Obama is impeached for this.  THE INDIVIDUAL MANDATE IS UNCONSTITUITIONAL.  Also I don't really know what the word "impeach" means.  Or the word "mandate".  I get that the gubmint is all shut down and shit, but you'd think that they could at least manage to get one simple little website to stay up and running.  I mean, how am I supposed to sign up for one of those vaunted death panels if I can't even get on the website?  

Even though the Obamacare website has been up for less than a week and Obamacare itself doesn't begin implementation for another few months, Obamacare is an unmitigated nation-ruining disaster the likes of which haven't been seen since the K-T extinction event 66 million years ago.  I guess in this analogy Obamacare is the asteroid, the Yucatan Peninsula is America, and dinosaurs are freedom.  

Librul pundits are making a big mistake if they think that conservatives essentially agree with the underlying provisions of Obamacare and are acting out against the law due to being reflexively enraged by the "Obama" part of Obamacare.  The truth is that I as well as most of my conservative peers are actually most enraged by the "care" part of Obamacare.  Why should the government be allowed to FORCE me to buy health care?  What if I don't believe in caring for my health?  Is that not my God-given right?  JESUS IS MY COPAY.

More to the point, why should I have to pay for the health care of others???!!!  That's as ridiculous as making me pay for the education of others, or the maintenance of infrastructure that others use, or the military protection of others.  Where will it stop?  Will I be forced by the gubmint to buy my neighbor a birthday present every year?  Or to mow his lawn for him every weekend?  Or to stop sleeping with his wife?  THIS IS AMERICA Y'ALL SHAQ GOT NEEDS TOO.

And anyway our horrible health care system is the primary economic engine of this nation, helping to create millions of jobs for coroners, grave diggers, bankruptcy lawyers, funeral directors, eulogy writers, and facial tissue manufacturers.  Most people are happy that American car manufacturing has made a comeback, but few people know that hearses account for over 70 percent of all new cars sold in America, according to the 2012 car census.