Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Tach it up*

Well, it looks like all my bitching and moaning about the waste and inefficiency endemic to the federal government might finally pay off. Them Republicans finnuh shet down the fejrul gubmint! It's about time. It's also about selfishness. Oh! Did you see what I did there? It's called a zeugma.

This is an ideal opportunity for conservatives to prove to the rest of the country that they were right all along about the uselessness of the federal government. The government is best which governs least, as they like to say while Thoreau spins round in his grave. They were proven correct about so many of their other pet theories, like trickle-down economics, the War on Drugs, Social Security privatization, and slavery, so I'm assuming this whole government shut down thing will work out perfectly too. It won't affect me anyway since I live in a posh gated community in the 'burbs, with a passel of servants to attend to my every need. So I couldn't care less. For those of you who will be adversely affected by potential government shutdown, I suggest that you grab your passport and leave the country. And if you don't have a passport, oops I guess you're fucked since the passport office will shut down. It's weird that the NFL is locked out, the NBA will probably have a lock out once the season ends, and the gubmint might also be shut down. These things come in threes I suppose.

*see

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