Friday, February 24, 2006

I <3 Sasha Cohen!!!

Oh man y'all heard of the 2006 Winter Olympics in Taurino??? I didn't even know it was winter in Italy. But shit, did y'all see them ladies skating their figures all over the ice rink? Man I tell you Alexandra Cohen has got it going on! I didn't even know she was such a good skater; I primarily remembered her as the girl who taught Prednint George how to use a cell phone at the 2002 winter games in Salt Lake City.


Still struggling with normal phones...

I also remember Sasha from her work with the National Cattlemen's Beef Association. She used to be the NCBA's spokesteen as part of its campaign to brainwash/convince teenage girls to eat more beef.


"Beef is part of my routine"~ Sasha Cohen

Sasha is definitely one of those girls you look at and immediately think "GODDAMN she must eat plenty of beef!". Eating beef is the only thing you really need to do in order to become a beautiful Olympic figure skater. I will pass along this wisdom to little Shaquilla since she so looks up to Sasha.


Sasha preparing some sort of pureed beef dish

It's too bad Sasha lost the gold medal to Shizuka Arakawa. Rigged!!! Now instead of the Olympics being a "boon to beef" it'll be a boon to sushi or some other unpatriotic liberal meat product. I say the media was just very desirous of seeing a Japanese figure skater do well in the Olympics so that their claims that Japaneses are being denied opportunity can be validated. Thus the contemptible identity politics so routinely embraced by liberals rears its ugly head and ruins yet another sporting event. This is worse than the time they wouldn’t let the Miami Heat participate in the Special Olympics.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Cheney's got a gun


There's a slight difference.

Shit y'all!!! Man y'all heard how Dick Cheney shot that old white dude right in the face!?!?!?!?! On the news they said that he was hunting quayles, and I guess he started getting mad thinking about how Quayle was a better vice president than him so he had to find a creative way to take out his frustration. Man I knew that Cheney was gangsta, but this is some Aaron Burr type shit! DICK CHENEY DON'T PLAY NO GAMES!!! The scary part is that this isn't even his first time exhibiting homicidal tendencies whilst hunting. I found some disturbing pictures of him hunting in Georgia. Check it out!


Everything was going fine until a group of terrorists came along...

Sunday, February 05, 2006

FIRST POST OF 2006!!!

Sup fooze? I'm finally back from my month-long vacation! Fuck January! Holla!!!!

Man y’all heard of the Earth making one complete revolution around the sun? I was over in the NOLA when that shit went down. It was all kinds of foggy up in New Orleans. Foggy like a bottom. Then they was going to serve up this huge pot of gumbo for the crowd, but it was so foggy that the chef accidentally dropped it. Man shoe. Fuckin' post-Katrina nonsense. But shit, if y'all ain't been down there since Katrina, you should go. It was way worse than the Liberal Media makes it out to be. Parts of the city look like the hurricane happened yesterday. Plus they ain't got no traffic lights anymore. Thankfully we got a resourceful and ingenious-type gubmint up in DC that gave Halliburton a $30 million no-bid contract to add punctuation and emoticons to all municipal stop signs. Who needs traffic lights when you got these:


Halliburton is teh kewl ;P


I <3 Halliburton!!1!!! :>)


Better than improved levees

CHOCOLATE CITY ON THE REBOUND!!! I just hope the chocolate that Mayor Nagin was talking about is Nestle's Crunch. Almond Joy is racist.