But even more importantly, they were a cultural phenomenon that transcended mere sports. They transformed the world of art. Their hit rap song, Super Bowl Shuffle, is one of the most influential songs of all time. I think it's safe to say that without them there would be no NWA, Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, Twista, Beatles, Lil' Jon, or Radiohead (to name but 7). Countless aspiring guitarists in the mid-80s grew up wanting nothing more than to emulate their hero, Mike Tomczak, as he rocked out on lead guitar. Reggie Phillips showed his subtle mastery of the bongos, an instrument that he himself invented. Mike Singletary's avant garde choreography for the video predated Darren's Dance Grooves by more than 15 years yet holds up remarkably well when seen through 21st-century eyes. Their artistic integrity is even more remarkable when juxtaposed against the prefabricated lip-syncing pop tarts and pathetically talentless "crossover" athletes (myself excluded; I'm awesome) of the modern day. Consider: an entire team of elite professional athletes who also happen to be accomplished musicians writing their own rap song (thereby aiding immeasurably to the evolution of a nascent musical genre that would achieve the preeminent place atop the charts only a decade later) and earning a Grammy nomination in the process. It is unreasonable to expect to see anything like that these days. Their team policy of "practice all day, dance all night" provided the balance that ensured that the perfection of their art would not be done at the expense of their football skills. Thus, they were "ready for the Sunday fight" and rose above braggadocio by indeed winning the Super Bowl.
And as if that weren't enough, they also had a pronounced impact on world political and social policy. Many people don’t remember this, but the United States in the mid-80s was riven with prejudice, discrimination, and segregation. Society was splintered as certain groups of people eyed certain other groups with suspicion to the extent that each group retreated into itself. The lack of interaction across segments of the population precluded humanity from reaching its full potential. Sometimes the segregation was voluntary, but most times it was enforced or at least enabled by poorly fashioned, divisive policy such as Reagan's disastrous "Hobo and Homo Removal Act of 1983" and the U.S. Marines' ill-fated decision to invade Harlem and replace the native government with a pro-gentrification junta. The state of football mirrored the sad state of society in general. As ridiculous as it seems now, back in those days it was considered scandalous for members of the offense to mingle with members of the defense. Pre-Super Bowl Shuffle, teams often had separate locker rooms for offense and defense. Members of the defense were forced to sit in the back of the team bus. Cornerbacks earned 75 cents for every dollar earned by wide receivers. Churches frequented by linebackers were often razed to the ground by throngs of crazed fullbacks.
It was against this backdrop of strife and tumult that the 1985-1986 Chicago Bears introduced the world to their Super Bowl Shuffle. What a revelation it was. Here you had offense and defense putting aside their traditional animosities and sharing the same stage together. Running backs rapping alongside safeties. Nose guards breaking bread with centers. Finally, an NFL team's offense realized that they could neither "run like lightning" nor "pass like thunder" without the help of a defense that could "stop the run, stop the pass", and "like[d] to dump guys on their ass". The culmination of the Chicago Bears' mission to tear down the barrier that had always existed between offense and defense was Coach Mike Ditka's decision to use William "The Refrigerator" Perry, his portly gap-toothed defensive lineman, as a running back in Super Bowl XX. The Fridge's touchdown in that game set off fevered celebrations all over the world.
The 1985-1986 Chicago Bears' brazen disregard for the bigoted ways of old had far-reaching ramifications on the global social structure. Suddenly the previously unspoken hopes of long-suffering defensive personnel had found a voice and were on their way to being realized. The synthesis of offense and defense had finally been achieved. Now, there was only The Shuffle. A global epiphany soon followed. People began to admit to the illogical and destructive nature of their former prejudices. As those in power realized that their control over the masses by fear and ignorance was tenuous, they began to strike discriminatory laws off the books. In 5 short years a groundswell of popular rebellion led to the dissolution of the Soviet Union and a move towards democracy. One year later the United States elected its first black president, Bill Clinton. A mere 2 years later South Africa ended its policy of apartheid and held its first nation-wide all-race elections. And in a bit of poetic justice, William "The Fridge" Perry was elected president in a landslide. As the famed Samuel Dosterdand, haiku writer and Poet Laureate of Greenland, has so eloquently noted,
"He is the rookie.
The others, they learn from him.
He's no dumb cookie."
2 comments:
"I think your story was wonderful. And you tell it so well." You wanna see wha Lieutenant Dan looks like?" -- What move is that from?
Another revolution is soon to happen. It well come when Coach Ditka returns to New Orleans to open another restaurant and lead the Saints to a Super Bowl victory. During that season another rap song created to unhex the voodoo on the team will all other NFL teams in a trance while playing our New Orleans Saints. Football records would be set, never to be broken.
After that season the Super Dome will fall and the spirits of the Indians buried under the Dome will destroy the Southern United States. Starting in Louisiana of course and spreading westward next to Texas.
Things happen for a reason. I just hope everyone understands this before it is too late.
THE BITCHES IS HERE!!
Man I finally gets some creddit foe my ellaquinces and my many knowledges. ah wuz goan go be a teacher of knowledges or maybe spelling and grammer but cant no one do nothing with a phd in thc. i agree with Leno up above that the Saints is the only team that can rival the Bears in terms of raptasticness. They can team up with Cash Money and Diddyboo Records and release a fiya track. But in the Nascar world, you right. Too bad that cat done died, but back in the day they was changing tires like it wunt no thang. The coordination btwn the jackman and the rear tire-carrier was beautiful. Too bad the Nascar world shunned them for releasing a rap song.
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