Say y'all heard of these people known as MEXICANS??? Today is the day that them folk be celebrating their independence from Napoleon is what I heard. Anyway, there is also some NBA PLAYOFFS going on today. My most recent ex-team, the Phoenix Suns, is playing the San Antone Spurs tonight. Boy am I glad that I got out of Phoenix when I did, cause it turns out that now the politicians in Arizona is passing all kinds of crazy laws. Apparently Arizona is teeming with illegal immigrants who steal white people's jobs and health care and moneys and welfare and daughters and what nots, so they just passed a law making it illegal to be illegal. Some people are claiming that the law is unconstitutional, as it will inevitably lead to racial profiling of Hispanical people, but I read the law and it clearly applies equally to Canadians and Martians as well, so how could that possibly be racist?
The bill, which was sponsored by Arizona State Senator Russell Pearce and signed into law by Governor Jan Brewer, is named Senate Bill 1070, the Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act. Incidentally, 1070 is what Russell Pearce scored on the SAT. Another interesting tidbit is that Jan Brewer is the twin sister of Emperor Palpatine. This, of course, is further evidence that genetics, not environment, is the primary factor that controls the aging process. Seriously, though, Brewer's impossibly wrinkled visage suggests Dorian Gray in reverse, and I half-suspect that somewhere in some hidden room at the governor's mansion there hangs a portrait of a pure, innocent, unblemished, beautiful young woman. This presupposes that Brewer is evil enough to strike a deal with the devil and stupid enough to get it backwards. Both of which seem entirely plausible to me. But I digress...
Anyway, I am afraid that this law will negatively affect the NBA, as now Commissioner Stern has no choice but to deport Phoenix's star point guard Steve Nash back to Canada. And what about Eduardo Najera? What will he do?? WHY HASN'T ANYBODY THOUGHT OF EDUARDO NAJERA!>!>!??? Also, this may pose problems if my Cavs have to fly to Phoenix to play the Suns in the NBA Finals (Ed note: Problem averted. Thanks, Celtics and Lakers. Assholes. Fuck you Kobe). Many of the Cavs are in this country illegally. Ziggy overstayed his student visa, Lebron is a Frenchman, and I renounced my American citizenship when Kazaam wasn't nominated for any Oscars. Luckily, Cleveland is a sanctuary city, but now if we travel to Arizona we liable to get deported by Sheriff Joe. But as bad as Arizona's law may be, it's a far cry from the law that Texas is thinking about passing: Support Our Law Enforcement and Fucking Piranhas in the Motherfucking Rio Grande Act.
